Okay, I am going to try and just describe the situation here. I may have to use some language that is a little risque, so please be forewarned. This picture is set in über-trendy Pearl District at Peet’s Coffee & Tea. The clientele here consists mostly of office-type professionals and fashion-trend seeking shoppers. This particular minute there are quite a few of both surrounding me. And then, they walked in.
What I saw first can only be described as somewhat troubling. This young, very bleached blonde girl was about four feet, eleven and, how should I say, curvier. And to accentuate said curves, she was wearing a super low-cut, “check out my cleavage” dress that was about as short as the neckline was plunging. And heels of course. This, unfortunately, was the better sight.
What followed, attached via hand-holding, was one of the douche-iest dudes I have seen in quite some time. First thing’s first—expensive looking jeans and shoes. Untucked, button-up, mock-Ed Hardy collared shirt. Slim-fit suit jacket. And wait, it gets better. Add the overly manicured douche goatee and Aviator knock-off shades with heavily product-ed hair and I think you know what I’m talking about.
Now, I’m no fashionista by any stretch. I prefer a classic jeans and t-shirt sort of thing, but this was downright terrible. The smug plastered all over this guy’s face, who by the way, never removed his shades (no, not even when ordering) was enough to make you want to jump up and choke-slam him into the condiments table. And the “check out my man” attitude of the chick was nearly LOL-able.
At first, I was going to let this pass, maybe just relay it off-hand to someone at a party or something. But then their drinks were ready. I didn’t catch what the young lady ordered, but three guesses what the douche… I mean dude… ordered. White Chocolate Mocha. Though unscientific, my personal study of this situation as a Starbucks employee back in the day tells me that a White Chocolate Mocha is one of the most chick drinks one can order. If that wasn’t enough, he taps the girl on the shoulder and motions for her to get it. C’mon.
Okay, rant complete. I’ll be sitting here drinking my regular coffee.